Are you ready to dust off the pedestal and get back in the game? The papers are signed, the assets divided, the mess is over, but where oh where do you start? Chances are you haven’t dated in years, whether you just got divorced or ended a long relationship. When my long-term relationship ended I didn’t even know how people met anyone anymore. So I told my friends to fix me up and they were very nice about introducing me. I also checked out matchmakers and on-line dating sites. I like ones that cater to individual interests like Science Connect, religious-centered sites, and It’s Just Lunch. These will vary depending upon where you live. Also, watch the Millionaire Matchmaker, she has excellent advice on how to dress (short with cleavage), act (like a lady) and conduct your dating life (no sex before committed monogamy.)

I was (and always am) looking for true love! Deepak Chopra talks about the Seven Spiritual Laws of Love and how we pass through each phase on our way to deep love – I highly recommend reading this if you are seeking a new love. In stage two, “Infatuation,” he says:

Everyone has some experience of infatuation and the changes it brings. It takes you beyond the trivial and mundane; you rise above ordinary concerns (a glorious change that makes sensible people worry about how well you are coping with the rent or your next quarterly report.)

- Deepak Chopra in his book, “Kama Sutra, including the Seven Spiritual Laws of Love”

Early on we should be concerned with a potential partner’s situation but often aren’t… and these days we all seem to have one thing or another going on as this recession double-dips. As you start dating again keep three things in mind: 1) there is a recession, 2) women are making a lot more money than ten years ago, and 3) guys expect us to work and be a bit more aggressive. Love, however, is still the same and the most wonderful thing it always has been!

If you’re not quite ready for true love, you might need a hot young stud to get you back into the “rhythm” of life. Nothing wrong with this, if you keep it in perspective! If you’re in a cougar mode – that’s easy – just head down to the nearest college bar (be sure to check id’s) and have a great time! I have a lot of friends who are still chasing good-looking younger guys, however my advice is: if it’s sagging on you, it should be sagging on him.

Always be careful of “shysters” as my father would call them – people with ulterior motives. Mother’s watch out for your teenage daughters, watch out for your bank account and be smart about meeting new people. Most people are wonderful but it is important to be careful. The average hacker can figure out someone’s password in minutes – is the code to your alarm system the same number as your debit card? Is your alarm code your daughter’s birthday? Be careful first and have fun second.

Dating advice to the newly single:

• When you first start dating, accept all invitations (safety first of course). You never know who you’ll meet, and it’s usually fun just getting out.
• There are 200 women chasing the same three guys, don’t chase those guys! We all want the great looking multi-millionaire, but if you want true love chances are you’re better off with “Normal Joe.” However, if the multimillionaire is chasing you that’s another story.
• “Busy, busy, busy” – all of my guy friends recommend this. Don’t sit around and wait for them to call – get involved in charities, sports, churches, etc. This way you have something to talk about and you’re not hanging around waiting for them.
• Let him buy – makes him feel like a man! You really should let him spoil you for at least the first couple of months.
• Your man should: make plans and keep them; do what he says he’s going to do; tell the truth; and send flowers (this is the Dutch in me.)
• By the way, where are the flowers? A guy should send flowers when your Mother dies, he wrecks your car or he breaks a promise/date. If he doesn’t – keep looking….
• Is he interested in you? Your career? Your family? Whether you have health insurance? Or, are you just a date?
• And make sure he’s not treating you like another guy. It is important to feel special, and in the long run that’s what makes a union happy.

Sit up on the pedestal and enjoy! Soon enough you’ll be back to running a household, cooking and washing his laundry…

Good luck, and let me know how it goes!!!

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Gwendolyn Beck started her finance career on the bond trading floor. She then moved to stocks and IPO with Morgan Stanley and personal financial planning with Wachovia.  She wrote “Flirting with Finance”, a fictional novel, for a fun way for women to learn about finance through all the relationships and events we may have in our lives.  “Flirting with Finance” is available through Barnes & Noble.   You can contact Gwendolyn at www.flirtingwithfinances.com.