Nutrition 101.

It’s January, the month that is on big global hangover. Many people’s waists are expanding like the national debt these days, and not just because they ate all the holiday treats they could get their hands on. So this episode of the Guy Files will center around nutrition and my own little nutritional handbook. Am I a nutritionist or dietician? No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. So away we go!

Did you get it through a drive through window?

Then guess what? It’s not healthy. I know, fast food chains all have their “healthy” section of the menu, but really if you do a little digging, their healthy options are only slightly less crappy than the rest of their menu, which is pretty craptastic. Don’t get me wrong, it’s all pretty tasty, and healthy food doesn’t have to be boring, but you won’t find anything worth eating at a place with a drive thru.

Did it come from the “Fringe?”

What’s the fringe? It’s what I called the fringe, or outskirts of the grocery store. It’s where the good stuff (produce, eggs, meats) are. Basically, it’s the stuff previous generations did just fine with before we all became cubicle monkeys and stopped being active. If you didn’t get it from the fringe, it’s probably not so healthy.

Did it come in a box?  

If it does, it is really healthy? Not so much. But John, what about “insert allegedly healthy frozen entree name here?” Isn’t that healthy?

Well, it depends on how you define “healthy?” As opposed to what? Fast food? Sure, agains that I guess it’s healthy-ish. Fresh is always better than frozen. Most of those “healthy” entrees in the grocer’s freezer aren’t nearly as healthy as they are convieient.

Can a five year old pronounce the ingredients?

If they can’t read it, you probably shouldn’t put it in your body, at least not on a regular basis. Will it kill you? Yes and no. No in the sense that it won’t kill you right away like a bullet to the skull, but yes in the sense that when you’re in your golden years, you will certainly be paying for eating this crap. You’ll probably have heart problems, higher blood pressure, and who knows what else. But then again, you’ll be old and on social security, which we can’t afford to pay you anyway, so by all means, eat up!

Does it have a long list of ingredients?

The longer the list, the worse it probably is for you. Our society has gotten way too hectic and to cut corner’s many people cut corner’s on the one thing they never should: themselves. Eating processed anything, generally isn’t going to win anyone any glowing results when they meet with their doctor to discuss their latest physical.

No one is saying you should be as extreme in nutrition as a bodybuilder or supermodel, but don’t kid yourself. If you play, you pay, and you may not find out you partied too hard until it’s too late. Everything in moderation.