Dear Case,
My sister and I have always had a tumultuous relationship and we don’t get along at all. I feel bad for even writing this, but since it’s anonymous, I need advice. “Joanie” lives out of town and just had a baby. She wants to come to my house with her family of three and stay for a week while they visit area family members. Joanie was very presumptuous, assuming that my husband and I would be thrilled to have them and honestly, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I work two jobs and my husband works and goes to school, so we are busy and tired all the time. The idea of a newborn keeping the house up all night makes us cringe. I realize this sounds selfish and it’s not the baby’s fault that her mother is rude, but we just don’t want them at our house for a number of reasons. How do I tell my sister to find another place to stay?
     -No Vacancy

Dear No Vacancy,
Don’t be embarrassed of your honesty. This familial visit is not likely to be a good experience for you and your husband and you are stuck between obligation and common sense. Joanie’s presumption of your house as the free neighborhood bed & breakfast is awkward and rude, considering your volatile relationship. Case bets that if she asked you and your husband for a visit, and/or if their stay would have been for a day or two, you may have gritted your teeth and endured the unpleasantness. But, a week is a long time and would be quite trying, even in the best of circumstances.

Some may argue that you should take her visit as an opportunity to rebuild your relationship with your sister, especially since a new bundle of joy is in the picture. If that is possible, please try. However, it sounds like your resentments and turbulence is real. Your home is your safe haven and if your sister and her family will undoubtedly muck up that peace, then un-invite her. If telling Joanie the truth is out of the question, perhaps you and your husband can be out of town or need the termites exterminated the week of your sister’s visit. You can split the difference, and offer a night or two stay instead, but perhaps suggesting Aunt Brenda’s house for their week-long stay would be a better bet.

Dear Case,
My 40-year old cousin has never really had a long term girlfriend. I introduced him to my wife’s friend for a scheduled double date. “Laura” is really cool, funny and attractive, so I thought they would be a good match. They seemed to be hitting it off for several weeks, but now he is making excuses and finding little details about Laura that he doesn’t like. He has pointed out that she is slightly bow-legged, her wardrobe is too trendy, her hair is a little too blond and he doesn’t know if he can see past these shortcomings. What gives?
     -Mr. Critical

Dear MC,
Your cousin may not want to be nailed down to one relationship, so he looks for any reason to reject a match. His list of Laura’s supposed “shortcomings” are shallow and immature. Every detail he mentioned is about Laura’s appearance rather than her sense of humor, personality, intelligence, etc. It’s too bad your cousin can’t see past Laura’s outfit or hair color and get out of his own way to find a fulfilling relationship. But, you did your part and gave him a chance with an apparent catch. The lesson – You can lead an ass to water, but it won’t make him drink.

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We all need advice from time to time as we struggle, question and wiggle at life’s twists and turns. From the trials of coupledom and parenthood, to life as an adult child, climbing the professional ladder and being a true sister, questions flurry. Every week, our advice contributor will help you work out those pressing issues with thoughtfulness and humor. Got a pressing situation for Case Studies? Please send your questions for publication to casey@webegirls.com. (Questions may be edited)