Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and I’m already falling into the seductive mental trap of romanticizing it. Yes, I do! I frequently fantasize about the perfect Valentine’s Day, building it up in my mind to unimaginably high expectations. Unfortunately Mr. Handsome (that’s my boyfriend) never meets my expectations. And I guess I shouldn’t be surprised!
My V-Day fantasy goes something like this:
Mr. Handsome takes me to the most luxurious hotel downtown where we have dinner reservations. (Yes, I said the ‘R’ word – which means that he actually thought about this ahead of time!) Halfway through the second course he hands me a gift box and I am astounded to find the most beautiful sparkly thing, and we later fall into bed together with champagne. Sigh. So romantic.
Reality goes more like this:
Mr. Handsome will forget to make reservations so he’ll tell me that we are staying in… and he’s going to cook. I pretend like I’m thrilled. He cooks a nice dinner and we have a great night until he falls asleep on the couch while checking his email with his socks on. Meanwhile, I’m upstairs putting on my new lingerie and unfortunately, I’ll be the one taking it off as well.
That counts as a shitty Valentine’s Day! So, this year I decided to give Mr. Handsome a little V-Day assistance, for my sake as well as his. Follow these tips and we’ll all have a great holiday:
Tell your guy what you want.
It’s pretty simple. They don’t know, and you do, so you should tell them. Unless you’re one of those lucky girls who swooped a wildly romantic hubby and he’s already planning to take you to wine country, where you’ll ride hot air balloons and taste his favorite kind of pinot blah-de-blah… (I’ll save you some time: your boyfriend is gay.)
Ask him what he wants.
Mr. Handsome gently reminded me a few weeks ago that it’s his Valentine’s Day, too. What?! As crazy as this sounds, I guess technically it’s correct, and maybe he would like to be romanced a little bit, too. Unlikely, but you never know.
Get in the spirit of the holiday.
Everyone loves to complain that Valentine’s Day is just a holiday made up by Hallmark so they can sell more stuff. Maybe that’s true, but who cares? Valentine’s Day is really an opportunity to express love and appreciation to your partner. I guarantee that if you approach the holiday with that attitude, no matter what happens, you’ll enjoy yourself… and he’ll feel good about it, too!
If all else fails, get a dog.
I know some good rescue centers here in LA. Just sayin’.
Go forth and spread the love, girls! Let’s make Valentine’s Day 2012 the least shitty one yet!
Comments? Email Allison at allison@allisonvolk.com
