For all you summer brides, soon the wedding is over, the honeymoon is over and baby, look out…the blues might be here to stay. 

In part, according to cnn.com, “Once the Big Day has come and gone, couples are forced to step out of their much-cherished and often long-lived ‘bride and groom’ spotlight and just get on with real life.” And let’s face it, compared to spending year or more planning the biggest party of your life, you know, the one you’ve been dreaming about since you were six, real life can be a dud comparatively.  Throw on top of it many of our perfectionist instincts where some brides replay over and over in their heads the mistakes they made on their wedding day, even crying througout the honeymoon, and they’re downright depressed.  So what can you do to snap out of it? Here’s six tips to help you through:

1.  Don’t expect the fairy-tale, especially if you’ve never lived together.  There is a lot to figure out, a lot to negotiate and that just takes some time getting used to.  Talk to some close friends and really ask them how they adjusted in their first year.  Statistically, it’s a very difficult year even for those who have lived together.  Things do change, things do feel “different”.  Do talk about handling and allocating money, who will do which chores, what you’ll do with your free time, how to divide holidays among in-laws, plans for conflict resolution and perhaps the biggest of all, talk about keeping the romance alive. Sounds pedantic, unromantic, but these discussions will pay off in better communication and positive feelings for your spouse throughout the marriage. 

2.  Find a new hobby together.  Sure, maybe you did most of the planning for your wedding solo, but hubby spend a great deal of time and energy even if just noodling about the nuptials, so he may need a diversion too.  Look for something that the two of you can do together to replace all that time you spent planning the wedding like cooking classes or a  new sport or hobby. Add some adventure to the mix – cooking that gourmet food while kayaking in the Canadian Rockies – and those wedding blues will quickly pass.    

3.  Don’t let the parties drift away.  What we loved was the excitement and the anticipation of the party.  That doesn’t have to disappear.  One of the reasons my ex is now an ex is the very last party we had together as a couple was our wedding. Whereas before that we used to have three or four a year.  We finally had all this great kitchen and serving gear to bring out and it was left unused.  Don’t you do that too.  And, the more parties you throw, the more parties you’ll be invited to.  Hmmm… see that social calendar filling up again? Not so boring after all, huh?

4.  Put your focus back on work. Let’s be honest, for the past year you (and your bosses and co-workers) know that you’ve been planning a wedding, and much of that was done at work.  A recent surveyfound that 90% of brides to be plan their wedding at work for as much as 10 hours a week. Time to be the fabulous career girl you are and go after some major accomplishments at work. Part of what thrived on was that empowerment was accomplishing all those wedding plans. That feeling can be refocuses on achieving those same kinds success in project management, tasks completion and inventiveness on the job. This will help you emotionally bounce back quicker and bring you back again to the positive notice of your boss.    

5.  Get involved in charity work together. Recent studies say that the number one way to increase happiness is by doing something altruistic. You’ve spent the past year focused on you and receiving many gifts to boot. Looking outside of yourself right now might be key. This will give you perspective on the bigger picture.  Some people are all out there alone and the two of you have each other – a great support system. Believe it or not, as a couple you could be a shining star to those down on their luck, especially if you volunteer at places with kids like homeless shelters for teens. Seeing your love and a happy marriage may be just the inspiration these kids, often coming from broken homes, need to believe in. Gratitude will grow for your own life and love. Helping others out always feels good.