For some of us, the Holiday Season can bring a sense of loneliness and longing for that special someone. Internet scammers are counting on this. Most of the scams originate in Nigeria, Ghana, England and Canada according to the FBI and both men and women fall pray. Believe it or not, sometimes these criminals are actually following a script to woo the victim. 

According to Reuters, “Romance scams, as they are called, are long-term, romantic relationships that thieves cultivate online with a potential victim, and they are on the rise. Western Union, which is a frequent conduit for money lost to these scams, says faux love is one of the top five most common scams – with a 30 percent increase in complaints registered in November.”

Many times the embarassed victim doesn’t report the crime and it’s very difficult to catch the culprit. They are the costliest of scams because the heart is involved and the average amount that the victim loses to the scam is $12,000.  They’ll ask for money to come and see you, money to get them out of a predicament be it medical or financial, or being a “single parent” money for holiday gifts.

“Here’s how it works. You meet someone in a forum or a dating site. They’re friendly, interesting and, most important, interested in you. Conversation – whether in emails, instant messages or phone calls – will continue for weeks, or even months, until a deep enough trust is built to start angling for money.”

“All scams have an emotional hook to them,” says Pete Ziverts, a Western Union vice president, “Relationship scams are obviously so much more emotional. It’s amazingly cruel.”  Ziverts and his company seek to eliminate these kinds of scams by raising awareness and flaggings suspicious transactions. Western Union gets hundreds of complaints a month. It’s become such a big issue that the U.S. State Department has a detailed warning on its website and they too receive complaints daily from victims, noting that the ages range from 18 to 81 and come from all socioeconomic backgrounds. The victims often wonder how someone as smart as they are could fall victim and lose thousands. It happens. 

Red Flags for Romance Scams

• Does their profile picture look professional? If so it may be lifted from a model and not actually be them. Do they have more than one picture of themselves? Can they send you pics of themselves in day to day life via phone? If not, that’s a red flag.
• What do they say their occupation is? Many romance scammers pick engineer because it sounds good and they typically make a lot of money. Women scammers often say model. Can they speak in detail about their occupation?
• Ask personal questions about the city they say they are from and their life. Scammers typically don’t like to answer a lot of personal questions. If they keep turning it back to you, be suspicious.
• Don’t send money if you don’t actually know the person. If they do ask for money it’s time to move on, quickly. Usually the ask is for a large amount of money. The big payoff is why these thieves are willing to continue this scam daily for months on end.
• If the online relationship is moving very fast and they are from another city be cautious. Be wary of people saying destiny or fate has brought you together and quick declarations of love. 
• Ask to webchat with them so you can see their surroundings.
• Pay meticulous attention to what they say and do.
• Are they hard to get hold of via phone? If so, this is a red flag not only for money scams, but cheaters as well.
• Do they always postone meeting up for the weekend with some lengthy excuse? They may never have any intention of meeting up with you.  

If you suspect you’re involved with someone trying to scam you, break off contact immediately and notify the site where you met the person and file a report on the government’s online crime complaint site.