Someday my prince will come, but first I might have to shell out a few bucks to bring him to me. In steps the professional matchmaker who says she can make your dreams come true.  Ah, but where to find her and what to expect?

In this day and age when life, career, and well, bumper to bumper traffic lesson our time to shop around and meet men, we go online and be our own matchmakers.  But that takes time and nobody is screening these guys, doing a background check and making sure their story checks out. A scary prospect. Many are opting for that old-fashioned-but-new-again approach of hiring a matchmaker whose business it is to bring couples together.

Sure, a professional matchmaker costs way more than match.com or eharmony, but you are getting what you pay for – someone who makes your dating life a top priority and has the know how and contacts to get it done.  Think about how much you paid for your car?  Would you not be willing to pay that much or more for a soul mate?  I’m not saying go out and hire the Millionaire Matchmaker, but if you’re in earnest here, this is not the place to nickel and dime. 

Ask questions.  Get referrals.  Be honest. 

There are different kinds of matchmakers.  Some only take on male clients and the women are the candidates, such as Janis Spindel in NYC.  Some take on women and men.  In the case of where you are a candidate, you might have to pay a fee to register, and then more fees to have one on one meetings with the matchmaker who will then set you up with her clients.  In the case of Janis Spindel, it’s $25 to register and and additional $1300 for the inner circle where you can be introduced to her male clients who pay anywhere from $50K-$500K for her matchmaking services. It costs less but gives you less control. You aren’t the picker. Think about The Bachelor or The Bachelorette TV shows…your chances are way better when you’re the bachelorette!

Look online for the type of matchmaker that is right for you.  Some only cater to finacially successful, high powered and highly attractive clients, and other cater to all those earnestly looking for a mate.  When you call them, make sure they are comfortable discussing their fees up front.  If they aren’t take it as a sign that they might have other intentions than finding you love.  Shop around and find the one that fits into your budget.  Meet with a few of them and ask questions about their approach to dating and setting you up.  You’ll be working very closely and very personally with this person about your private history, dreams, likes and dislikes.  Make sure it’s someone you feel comfortable working with on this level.  And by all mean, be honest.  You aren’t out to impress the matchmaker or date them, so tell it like it is so they can find someone they think suits the real you. 

Use a local matchmaker as they will have the pulse on the city you live in and deal with your issues and complaints faster than a national matchmaker.  You get more one on one care if you go local as well.  And added benefit are the companies that offer single events for their clients as well.  Nothing like a good party and locking eyes across a crowded room.  Be prepared to put yourself out there among other women if this is an approach for you.   

Do make that list of what’s important to you and what you can be flexible on in a mate. According to Spindel in an article for New York Magazine,”The problem with women clients, she says, is that they’re way too picky. “I had a woman the other day say to me, ‘I don’t date lawyers and I don’t date doctors.’ ‘Hmm,’ I say, ‘what’s left?’ ‘An investment banker…and where should they have gone to college?’ She says, ‘Harvard, of course.’ Now that’s why she’s 37 and unmarried.” She sighs. “This other one the other day telling me, ‘I don’t do beards.’ I said, ‘Belinda, there are razors!’” 

And remember, it is a numbers game.  A matchmaker is a matchmaker and not a fairy godmother.  You still have to go on the dates and maybe kiss a few toads firsts.  Be patient, but upbeat, be open and have fun! 

If you’ve gone to a matchmaker or are looking to…let us know.  We’d love to hear your stories.