This may come as a shock, but women do break up with men. According to MensHealth.com, 26% of women broke up because of too many arguments/conflicts, 18% said there was no chemistry, another 14% said they found a better guy, 9% percent said he wasn’t husband material and 3% said he was lousy in bed. For most of us it only takes days to decide to dump him, but some would have us believing that none of this is true…

I’m working on a novel and while writing that novel I was doing some essential researchon annoying Facebook posts (translation: I was avoiding writing by delving into minutiae that doesn’t matter a whit in regards to the story) when I came across a rather horrifying ad:

What the hell is this? Catch him and keep him? 10 Ugly Mistakes Women make? Why Men Lose Attraction – like it’s a foregone conclusion? This sounds like everything I despise – men telling women how women need to act so men are always happy. So naturally I had to click on the link(I really didn’t want to write that morning).

Be warned if you also click on the link you are immediately assaulted by one Christian Carter who sports a scruffy beard and thinning, slightly mussed up hair that gives him a “real men can’t be bothered to look too good for you” look, as well as rolled up shirt sleeves showing he’s ready to get to work making you a better woman for all those men out there. I turned the video off immediately.

But still I was curious. Who is Christian Carter? Luckily, Christian knows that that is what you are wondering too. He is a guy that is deeply fascinated by relationship dynamics. He has spent the last decade studying and observing human behavior, psychology and communication. Christian doesn’t tell us where this 10 years of studying occurred but I’m guessing it was sitting on a bar stool. Christian has the unique perspective of being a man – yes male perspective is quite rare when there are only 3.5 billion of them in the world – but Christian also understands women and the wisdom they bring to relationships. Wait, what wisdom? I thought we were hopeless and needed to visit this website because we don’t have any wisdom. I’m confused.

But Christian is not confused. He is here to help us women with his secrets for making men like us through a series of programs we can purchase.

First up is his e-book Catch Him and Keep Him. It has 269 pages of “insights” into I guess catching a guy and keeping him. How much is this book? Well, you’re in luck, usually it’s $50 (that’s a lot of insight) but right now it’s marked down to $29.97. That’s a pretty expensive price for a bound book let alone an e-book but how dare I complain when Christian is just here to help me.

Christian isn’t going to rest on just selling you an e-book. What kind of guy would he be if he didn’t have more to offer? And he does – a series of videos.

There’s the Natural and Lasting Attraction series where in you will learn that when a man pulls away, it’s not because he is “screwed up” but because something is missing with you that makes him think he can do better. See, it’s not him. It’s you! So what can you do to fix this big problem that is known as you? Buy the video series. And guess what? Because Christian is a great guy and just wants to see you with the man of your dreams, he’s priced it at five easy monthly payments of $47.97. Wow, bargain!

What else can I do Christian to make a man like me? Why buy the series Inside the Mind of a Man where you can learn things like what to say and do so a man feels you’re worth being with even when you have disagreements and also how to keep from having hurt feelings by the little things he says and does. So if I’m interpreting that correctly a man is allowed to say or do anything and you should let it slide but you need to think about everything you say and do or a man might not like you anymore. Okay, check, got it. How much for these great advice? Well, because Christian is a great guy and just wants to see you with the man of your dreams, he’s priced it at five easy payments of $49.97!

There is also a series called Mastering Make or Break Moments with Men (three easy payments of $33) and a monthly Interview Section where Christian answers the real questions about men and relationships (shouldn’t he have done that in the e-book and video series? You mean there is more to learn?!). How much are these satchels of gold? $19.97! Sounds like a bargain, right? How about when you tack on ‘a month’ to that $19.97? $19.97 a month to listen to Christian interview a relationship expert or some crap like that. What kind of woman am I to say no to that kind of learning experience?

Listen I’m not one to say that finding and keeping a man doesn’t matter. Everyone wants love – even men! But according to Christian and so many others like him only women should work at it. Only women should alter their personalities. Men just have to be. Women need to consider every moment of their lives explicitly in regards to how it may affect a man. Sounds fair right? Especially when it just costs five easy payments of $49.97!

My last glance at this site was when I clicked on Terms and Conditions. The real pearl of wisdom was found here when I read the following “www.catchandkeephim.com offers entertainment on the topic of relationships and dating”. Keep that phrase in mind. Entertainment. Save your hard earned money and if you really want advice on changing everything about yourself to serve a man. Buy Cosmopolitan. It’s five bucks an issue and that price is truly entertaining.

For more kicks, check out Christain Carter’s video on YouTube: