
Bouquet toss or no bouquet toss? Pictures before or after the ceremony? Buy that perfect – and pricey – wedding dress or save your money for the honeymoon? These are just a few of the many decisions brides must make before their big day. Despite the abundance of advice from wedding magazines and online outlets, a lingering “am I doing this right?” doubt can cloud of the mind of even the most informed bride.
Since hindsight is always 20/20, why not call upon those in the know? Rounding up all my many married friends and family members, I asked each of them what they would have done differently now that their nuptials are distant memories. From the financial to the funny, here are their words of wisdom. May their tips get you one step closer to enjoying the wedding of your dreams!
1. Don’t have a cookie-cutter wedding. You prefer s’mores to a wedding cake? Do it. You want your bridesmaids in white as well? Who’s stopping you? Don’t let tradition get in the way of having the wedding you want. The more it reflects the tastes of you and your groom, the happier you’ll both be. Also, don’t get overwhelmed by the – ahem – good intentions of pushy family and friends. Everyone will have an opinion about your wedding; the only one that counts is your own.
2. The dress, part I. I received mixed comments regarding what is considered the right wedding dress. Some brides regretted throwing down so much money on something that now hides in the back of their closet. Others felt they were too frugal and ended up with a gown that didn’t evoke the blushing bride they wished to be. Whatever your decision, make peace with it before your wedding day. If you are conflicted about what you bought or how much you spent, it will diminish what should be a wholly joyous occasion.
3. The dress, part II. Don’t skimp on the alterations. Even if you didn’t have to pay a dime for your dress, it’s best to pony up the cash to ensure a proper fit. Case in point? One bride chose not to sew in her foam pads and was subsequently informed by the officiant – during the ceremony! – that she needed to adjust “the girls” because her pads were drifting into view.
4. Cheaper is not always better. Most brides are on a budget, but don’t let the almighty dollar sign guide every choice you make. Instead, stick with personal referrals and reliable vendors over the lowest bidder. Or to save money, buy the basics (invitations, programs, etc.) and dress them up yourself.
5. Read the fine print. A few brides emphasized that you should always double-check your contracts before signing anything, as some vendors may include hidden fees for not having a certain number of guests or going over time when you book a venue. Even better? Get a wedding planner to double-check those contracts.
6. Don’t forget the out-of-towners. Especially if they’ve never been to the destination city, make sure your visiting guests have precise directions to both the ceremony and reception. No one wants to delay their wedding because half the guests are missing.
7. Make a list of “must have” shots for the photographer. Nearly every single woman with whom I spoke repeated this tip. After the big day, many were dismayed to find that some guests were completely missing from their pictures or key shots with family members had been overlooked. If your list is extensive, hire a second photographer to cover your bases.
8. Schedule sufficient time to take pictures. This piece of advice most always went hand in hand with #7. Many brides found themselves rushing to get through photographs so that they could head to the reception where their guests were patiently waiting for them. In retrospect, some women wished they had taken all the pictures before the festivities began so that they could just relax after the ceremony and start the celebration.
9. Let’s party! On the tail of #8, many brides regretted not having a longer reception. Most wished they had simply spent more time with loved ones on their special day. Also, though it’s expected to visit with each of your guests, try to do it with the groom if possible. You don’t want to look back at your wedding day and realize that you barely spent any of it with your husband.
10. Don’t sweat the small stuff. No matter how meticulously you plan for it, accept that something will go wrong at your wedding. It’ll rain. Your heel will break. The cake might tip over. And you know what? It doesn’t matter. At the end of the day, don’t forget what counts… You’re getting married!
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Born and raised in the Chicago suburbs, but now living in Los Angeles, Anna splits her time between writing screenplays and creative nonfiction. She is currently working on several comedic features and wrapping up her first book of essays entitled Nightwalking. She also enjoys retelling her stories of living in Hollywood in a blog appropriately called thechicagodispLAcement.com.


