Gallery Girls Recap: Episode 5 “I’m Set Free”

By Laura Simandl September 11, 2012 11:00 AM
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Gallery Girls Recap: Episode 5 “I’m Set Free”

The premiere episode of Gallery Girls set up a Manhattan-Brooklyn rivalry that would match the Jets and Sharks in West Side Story. That story line completely fizzled out, but one story line that is still going strong is Angela’s heroic quest to turn herself into an It Girl. Thankfully Angela finds out that her gay has done his job and got her a venue for her photography show. “I came to New York to be a fine art photographer and it’s finally happening.” Remember that line from Angela. It will be referenced later. There is one problem her gay tells her (his voice coming out of an iPhone with a cracked screen…) the show has to be Saturday. Oh, no! Will Angela be able to get her photos printed in time?! Not only that, Angela knows that her photos that she took last Tuesday “have to be good or I don’t know what will happen to my reputation.”

Slumpie #2, Claudia, is on her way to see an artist called the Sucklord. Apparently Slumpie #1, Chantal, read about him. Perhaps she read about him from a piece of paper the producers handed her about the Bravo show Work of Art where Sucklord was a contestant. Do the producers of Bravo shows not realize we watch other Bravo shows? Anyway, the Slumpies have come to the conclusion that a store is successful when it sells stuff. The gnome Chantal thinks Sucklord’s more commercial art might work better than the “smart and satirical” work that Claudia picks out and doesn’t sell. Claudia is not impressed with the Suck Lord and his Ass Wipe toilet paper. She thinks he’s a douche. But reminding herself that stores are in the business of selling things, she suggests that the Sucklord come up with something more universal like Occupy Wall Street themed toys. Sucklord is up for it.

Maggie is talking to her mom on her iPhone that looks like it’s been stomped on and beaten against the wall. Apparently these gallery girls shouldn’t be entrusted with iPhones because they break them. We learn that Maggie is going to see her Mom who lives somewhere in Pennsylvania and that she’s going to a dinner party that evening at Amy’s place.

We cut to Amy in her apartment which is actually her parent’s apartment, getting ready for the dinner party she is throwing. We then see her, her brother and two friends sitting down to eat dinner which is a new take on the stale dinner party format of feeding all your guests at the set time established by your invite.

The Chosen One, Kerri, shows up for the dinner party that isn’t a dinner party and comments that Amy’s apartment is paid for by her Dad. “I’m 24 and I’ve been working for everything I have,” Kerri says, reminding me yet again that the Chosen One has a really large beautiful apartment that she shouldn’t be able to afford. More people show up including That Girl (Angela) who figures she should promote her upcoming show around people that might actually have money to buy one of the photographs she took last Tuesday.

Sharon Hurwitz is at the International Print Center apologizing to the woman that works there because apparently her intern was supposed to be meeting them as well but her intern is late. Which intern could she be talking about? Well it can’t be the Chosen One because the Chosen One would have shown up the night before just to be on the safe side. No, it’s Amy, who rushes to get dressed and find a cab (though she has an iced coffee that was obviously bought at a Starbucks or a deli so how rushed she really was is confusing.) She shows up and tries to melt into the walls with her melty face which is hard to do as there are only two other people in the room and she’s so very melty looking. She apologizes to Sharon and explains “it’s impossible to get from the Upper East Side all the way down to Chelsea in such a quick amount of time,” which makes me wonder if the producers didn’t purposely try and sabotage Amy by calling her and telling her to get her ass down there. Sharon gives Amy a talk about her lateness. Amy wants to impress Sharon and realizes she has to get her act together.

Maggie and her boyfriend make it to Pennsylvania. Maggie’s mother is worried about Maggie because she seems unhappy. Maggie’s mother knew that if Maggie were home drinking her Mom’s hot chocolate and eating her pasta, all Maggie’s problems would disappear. It’s like Amy last week with her cupcakes. All the world’s problems would go away if there was just more food (which actually is pretty true.)

Claudia and Lara decide they will have the Sucklord event because they owe more money than they took in and even they can figure out that that might not be the best thing for a store. Sucklord tells the women that he’s going to make it a performance art happening. He’s going to set up a velvet rope and only let people who want to spend money into the store, and then some other kids will come and say fuck this and try and come in. “It’s going to be quite legendary,” Sucklord says. Yes, we’re still talking about that legendary performance art happening today … oh, wait, we’re not.

The dinner with her mom has inspired Maggie to look for a job that pays. See, I would think that having a job that doesn’t pay would be inspiration enough but that’s just me. Maggie puts on a cute interview dress and shows up at a gallery for an interview. Maggie has somehow managed to come out of the coma she is usually in and feign for the sake of her interview that she is a breathing, living person. The owner gives her a little pop quiz and asks her her thoughts on a painting as well as her thoughts on the materials used to make a large red art piece that the owner says looks like a vagina. However, Maggie didn’t see a vagina. The first thing I saw was a vagina. I don’t know how Maggie could not see a vagina. Perhaps Maggie needs to get a copy of Our Bodies Ourselves and study up because there are a lot of art pieces that look like vaginas and I’d hate for her to be stumped in her next interview.

Sucklord (center) with protestors

Sucklord’s happening happens at End of Century. The girls look freaked out as a bunch of protestors show up at the door demanding to get in. It’s so lame and so staged but Sucklord lets the young rabble rousers into the gathering and the girls are relieved. What a legendary event. But they sell a lot of stuff as evidenced by the Slumpies counting greenbacks.

That Girl shows up at Creative Recreation showroom to set up her show. “I want to be an It Girl and some people might call me a fame whore but I have some depth to me.” Where is that depth because it hasn’t been displayed in the first five episodes? Angela is nervous and fears that her friends will make fun of her show and the photos she took last Tuesday.

The Chosen One meets Melty at a coffee shop. Melty has a list of tasks she wants the Chosen One to do at Sharon Hurwitz’s place. Melty has come up the brilliant idea of delegating the crap jobs she doesn’t want to do to the Chosen One. This will free up her own time to do art related things with Sharon. Oh, Melty, how come you can’t see that you can’t play that kind of game with the Chosen One?

Maggie shows up in her cute interview dress at another gallery. She meets with a woman who takes voice crackle to an obscene level. This woman’s voice makes me long to listen to Chantal talk about French Press Coffees. Cracklepuss asks Maggie what she learned at Eli Klein. Maggie is stumped. She did learn how to successful get water into a dog bowl and she seals a mean envelope, but will those impress Cracklepuss? Luckily the director of the gallery shows up and he finds Maggie delightful.

Next is our weekly look at Angela trying on outfits – what Gallery Girls episode would be complete without Angela taking off her top while trying on a dress? She’s heading to her very first show which she is calling “Totally Not Depressed.” The Gallery Girls cast start showing up and don’t seem to have anything to say about the photos Angela took last Tuesday. Ben, who in an earlier episode gave Angela the sage advice to take photographs if she wanted to become a photographer, admires one photo. Angela loves it as well, “It’s just really teetering on the precipice of moroseness. That’s what I love about my own photography” [that I took last Tuesday.] At the end of the show That Girl didn’t sell anything but she’s not deterred. Remember how Angela stated she came to New York to become a fine art photographer? Well this rinky dink show attended by her friends did just that. “I really established myself as a photographer.” And now that That Girl is an established photographer she can move on to something else like maybe being a writer or a professional dress trying-oner…or perhaps a professional top taker-offer.

We end the episode with the Chosen One diligently working at her internship. She asks Sharon if she has a moment. Sharon is trying to leave but she’ll give her a minute. The Chosen One brings up Melty’s list and how she would really like to help Melty but she’s confused by what she’s supposed to do. Sharon gets a puss on her face that tells you she is wondering why the hell she agreed to “hire” Melty and the Chosen One and be a part of this Bravo show. Sharon has no idea what the Chosen One is talking about as she never told Amy to give Kerri tasks. “I didn’t ask her to do that because that would be very passive aggressive of me.” Well, the Chosen One knows something about passive aggressive because she’s sitting there in Sharon’s office throwing Melty under the bus. We end there with some questions hanging in the air. Will Maggie get a paying job? Will Liz be in next week’s episode? Will Melty get fired? Will Angela pen a haiku and declare herself a writer? We will have to wait until next week.


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