I have a problem. My man is horny. All the time. He literally can’t keep his hands off me. Ever. He’s always ready, willing and able, and expects me to be too. I like “naked time” as much as anybody, but lately I feel like I need to file for a restraining order! How can I fix this!?
-Hazed and Confused
First off, you do not have a problem. When your man CAN keep his hands off you THAT is when you have a problem. But that’s another column. It’s true that men are always in the mood, and we often forget that women need to be put in the mood. Often guys need to be reminded of that, and that can be the source of many of these kinds of problems. I’m not so sure though that it’s the cause of your problem.
If I were you, I’d ask myself this question: when was the last time I jumped HIS bones? Men traditionally are the ones to initiate the sexual contact and believe it or not we’re not as big a fan of that as you might think. He may not be able to read when you’re in the mood so he’s taking a shotgun approach of always jumping your bones and hoping he gets lucky. So I would suggest jumping his bones on a regular basis for a while and see if that helps. Once he gets used to you initiating sexual contact he’ll probably back off a little bit and let you get some peace in the hope that he’ll get a piece.
This guy I’m dating tells me he’s into me, and when we get together, when is the operative word here, he acts like he is. But shouldn’t he supposed to be doing anything he can to see me? I’m not making rediculous requests, in fact, I’m even putting myself out there by asking to see him. What does this mean? Is he seeing someone else?
It’s that question of is he or is he not that into you? Most guys when they are really into a girl will 100% let her know it. He will call you, he will answer your calls, he will text you, he will answer your texts. He will stop mid-sentence, put down his 1/3 drunk bottle of beer, leave his best guy friends and run to see you if you say, “Hey, wanna come over?”
I remember a story about Spencer Tracy, at the height of his career, who wanted to see Katherine Hepburn, just had to see her. For some reason he didn’t have a car, but that didn’t stop him. He walked miles and miles and showed up at her door to her complete surprise. When a guy is really into you he will surprise you. He will remember everything you like, he will hate to disappoint you for any reason. And he will see you over and over again. In this day and age of being connected, he may have every excuse in the world and you just might want to believe them, but in this case a bad excuse is not better than none. He’s just not that into you. You ask if he is maybe seeing someone else. Maybe. Is he focused on his career? Maybe. But if he was feeling you he’d make priority room for you.